Your Yoga Teacher is Human Too

A few months ago I read this post on MindBodyGreen online. I generally enjoy the articles they put out and was intrigued by the title, curious what one considers a "red flag" for a Pilates or yoga teacher. I wish I hadn't read the article. Beyond being overly opinionated and one-sided, it reeks of judgement. I was even more alarmed to see that a fellow yoga teacher wrote it. My heart sank. If other yoga teachers are out there judging and slamming others ability, then how and what are we teaching as the practice of yoga? Apparently others felt the same way as I did and if you read the comments, you see the author is quick to defend her words as "bringing awareness to teaching." In the end I honestly think she meant well, but I consider this article to be in line with a bevy of other voices screaming for attention at this same time. It came out around the time of the "How Yoga Wrecks the Body" hubbub and we all know how I felt about that.To tell you the truth, it is articles like these that left me seriously considering whether I wanted to be part of the yoga blogging world much longer.

I had put the article out of my mind, but this all came up because last week I started teaching a new morning class and I was having one of those days where my right was my left and my hand was my foot--meaning, I was messing up my words from time to time. It happens. It wasn't really that bad and I was quick to realize that I had made a mistake. For whatever reason, a long time student felt the need to correct me, even though every one in the class was doing the pose with ease. It can be a little unsettling when this happens because there's a difference when the correction is playful and when it's just mean. What sort of expectation is it that your teacher will never make a mistake or have a day when things get a little confused? Sounds crazy to me. In case you hadn't noticed, your yoga teacher is human too. 

Prayer for a United World

Did you know that today is National Day of Prayer? This came across my inbox this week and I thought it only fitting to post. What is your prayer for the world?

Prayer for a United World

May the heads of all countries and races be guided to understand that men of all nations are physically and spiritually one: physically one, because we are the descendants of common parents -- the symbolic Adam and Eve; and spiritually one, because we are the immortal children of our Father, bound by eternal links of brotherhood.

Let us pray in our hearts for a League of Souls and a United World. Though we may seem divided by race, creed, color, class, and political prejudices, still, as children of the one God we are able in our souls to feel brotherhood and world unity. May we work for the creation of a United World in which every nation will be a useful part, guided by God through man's enlightened conscience.

In our hearts we can all learn to be free from hate and selfishness. Let us pray for harmony among the nations, that they march hand in hand through the gate of a fair new civilization.

--From Metaphysical Meditations by Paramahansa Yogananda. Reprinted by permission of Self-Realization Fellowship.

Family Matters | Saying Goodbye a Second Time

I have a headache and my jaw hurts. At times I feel like I can't breathe. My body is giving me physical signs that I'm stressed. I am working to slow down and listen.  Beyond planning the wedding, I've been looking for new teaching opportunities and thinking about more soluble content for this blog. I'm ready to evolve Capricious Yogi, I'm just not clear yet on where to begin. There's a lot on my mind.

Additionally, this past weekend was my grandmother's unveiling. She passed away last July, just two months before my mom. She was my mom's mother and my last living grandparent. Losing so much close family has been rough. Sometimes I feel like my roots were pulled out from underneath me. In a way they were. Needless to day, it's been a rough year.

me and grandma Bea, 2007

In case you're interested, the unveiling of the headstone in the Jewish tradition takes place within the year following a loved one's passing. I was unable to attend my grandmother's funeral last July because that very same weekend my mother's condition worsened and we thought we might lose her that weekend so I flew to be with her instead. Luckily, she was with us for two more months.

Because I was unable to attend the funeral, I never felt like I had a proper goodbye. And because so much was going on with my mom at the time, I wasn't able to be there for grandma as much as I wanted. I  had hoped this weekend would bring some closure and in some ways it did. We told stories about her all weekend and talked about growing up and knowing her--we celebrated her life.

I don't speak Hebrew, but I did not need to. The sounds of the ancient prayers took hold of me at my heart center and vibrated my spirit. It was a very emotional, but very beautiful service. 

There were times this weekend when I felt completely overwhelmed and at times like as if I was having a minor panic attack. Every time I felt my chest tighten I came back to my practice and back to my breath. Instead of choking back tears and holding in my emotion, I let it flow, unashamed of my grief. I was very tired by the end of it all. It's hard to say goodbye. It's hard to emote and process and be social all at the same time. I did my best.

I never give myself enough credit for having weathered this storm. In fact, I don't give myself credit at all. The way I see it is that these experiences are all a part of my journey. These ups and downs are reiterative karmas of my past and things I need to sort through. All of this suffering and death is part of the process of life. As long as I am doing my best and trusting in the process, I have to believe that things will work out as they will. This sets my mind at ease. 

Thank you all for allowing me the space to continue to share and grow.

You may also be interested in: 

Working With Grief | Saying Goodbye and Letting Go of Loved Ones

Catch Your Breath, Regain Your Clarity

Get Grounded | Getting Your Head Out of the Clouds and Feet Back on the Ground

Wedding Countdown | Invitation Sneak Peek

One of the reasons I haven't been able to post as much as I would like is because I've been busy planning this little thing called a wedding... :)

Yep, I've got about one more month to go and over the past few weeks it's been wedding central at our house. While I try to keep my private life, well private, how could I not share a few details with you all? So without further ado, here's our wedding invitation. 

After months of brewing over the best layouts and papers we finally settled on this one. I'll have you know that this invitation from MissPrint Design was my first choice, but instead of listening to my gut, we searched high and low for a way to do this on our own. In the end we decided to work with Anna and are so happy we did so...she was great!

We bought the Kraft envelopes from EnvelopeMall (they are 100 % recycled) and lined them with textured blue paper found at Creative Papers Online. The green card was printed on stock (front and back) bought at Paper Source (love that store!) and a family member helped with the design of the card.

If you've read this blog you know how much I love trees so naturally that would be our theme. We sealed all of the envelopes with a wax seal of a tree from Nostalgic Impressions to finish the look. 

As the wedding day gets closer, I get more and more excited about all of the details coming together and plan to share as we count down the days. I hope enjoy!

The Trouble With Fear Is...Fear | Working With and Growing From Fear

Fear is a funny thing. 

Fear holds us in uncomfortable places, can destroy relationships, and keeps us small. Fear distracts us from being fully alive and with an open-mind, interacting with the world. Fear manifests in our body and psyche as anxiety, depression, tension, stress and disease (or dis-ease). Fear an auto-response to keep us safe in times of trouble but also is an illusion of the mind and when fear rules our thoughts, words, and actions, we experience disorders (or dis-order) and disharmony with our highest Self.

What's to fear? As FDR said....nothing more than fear itself.

In my own experience, fear has kept me from going after the things I want. For example, when studying theater, I so wanted to act on the big stage, but my fear told me that I wasn't good enough and even when I would audition, I subconsciously messed up my performance. My small self listened and I never pursued the field, opting for office work instead. Fear has also held me in bad relationships too long and among other things, allowed others to take advantage of me. Although I don't regret the choices I made, I sometimes wonder where I'd be today if I had listened to my intuition in certain situations, rather than my fear. 

The times when I have listened to my intuition and faced my fears I have always been rewarded handsomely by the Universe as well taking on a rich learning experience. Fear keeps you stuck. Facing fear moves and grows you in miraculous ways. 

Facing fear is no easy task. I do it every time I step on my mat and especially when I work on Headstand (Sirsasana). Here's a pose I know I can do, have done at random times, but for the most part, every time I attempt to go up, my fear gets in the way. Recently, just as I'm about to get my legs to the peak of the pose, my brain tells my body it's too scary and my right arm and shoulder go out from underneath me. I have the strength and flexibility to do this pose, but my mind thinks otherwise. Now I am working on quieting the fearful small me inside and creating trust in my body. It's a lot of work, but if I want to get this pose, if I want to grow, it's what I have to do.

This fear based action (or non-action rather) transcends to other areas of our lives. Instead of telling a colleague or boss that I don't agree with their actions, I keep quiet, silently agreeing for fear of confrontation or what they might think of my opinion. This is stupid. How is that helpful? If I'm coming from a place of honesty, shouldn't I share my thoughts? What's the worst that can happen and how bad is that outcome really? Not much by my measure. I guess it's time to speak up.

Fear can be overcome and does not need to rule your life. But first, you must recognize that the fear is initiating the habits or actions you are taking. In order to do so, you must be wiling to look at situations honestly, no matter what junk comes up and believe me, junk will come up. It's a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it. One of my favorite books on the topics is Pema Chodron's The Places that Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times. If you haven't read it...read it now. If you have...read it again.

Instead of running away from your fears, allow them to grow you by facing them head on.

What fears do you run away from? How do they hold you back? What's stopping you from overcoming your fears?

Other articles by me that you might be interested in:

Facing Fear 

Breaking Through

Thank You

My Guest Post @Yoganonymous | Sit With It—The Solution to Any Tough Decision

A family member of mine was recently faced with a very tough decision. She had to decide whether or not she should take an opportunity that may help her educational pursuits.

If she decided to go, she would risk upsetting the wishes of her parents. When she called and asked me for my advice, I sat quietly and listened. We talked through the pros and cons, I played devil’s advocate and we looked at all of the options. I worked hard not to press my personal opinion on the situation or allow myself to project on what she was going through. It was tough!

In the end I think the best suggestion I could give her was to “sit with it.” She was a bit confused at first. Wasn’t all the talking and mental gestation “sitting with it” enough? To clarify, I asked her to sit in a quiet space, take a few long deep breaths and ask her question out loud—“what should I do? Do I stay or do I go?” Then I told her, don’t jump to any quick conclusion and don’t try to fill in the silence with reasoning, instead, sit with the question and allow it to marinate. Try not to judge or explain your way through in order to get the answer, instead, allow the answer to come to you. The next time we spoke she had made a decision and felt clear and good about the choice she made.

Read the entire article here!

The Paradox of our Age

Something to think about...

The Paradox of our Age

We have bigger houses, but smaller families, more convenience, but less time.
We have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgments; more experts, but more problems; more medicines, but less healthiness.
We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor.
We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication.
We have become long on quantity but short on quality.
These are times of fast foods, but slow digestion; tall man, but short character; steep profits, but shallow relationships.
It is a time when there is much in the window but nothing in the room.

--His Holiness the XIVth Dalai Lama

Would you agree?