You probably already know this by now, but I really love yoga. The practice has helped me through some really difficult times, and in the same way, allows me to soar beyond my own expectations and perceived limitations. What once seemed impossible is now much more manageable. Sometimes I like to imagine how the "old me" would handle situations that come up. This makes me laugh, because while I still work hard to traverse the landscape of life, I know I do a much better job now than I did then.
I bring this up for a few reasons. One, I'm about to embark on my 500 hour teacher training with Sri Dharma Mitta this October. I've been looking for my "next step" for a while now. Having completed my first training in 2008, I decided to take some time to develop my practice before jumping in to the next phase. Always the avid learner, I continue to study with various types of teachers, but there's something about the Dharma practice that speaks to me. When people ask me why I chose the Life of a Yogi Teacher Training I easily tell them that when I practice Dharma yoga I am the most at peace I have ever been in my life. My heart overflows with joy and I often catch myself grinning throughout class following my steady flow of breath while offering every action to a higher power.
The second reason I bring this up is because yesterday was the second anniversary of my mom's passing. It also happens to be my pup's second birthday. Coincidence? That's up for you to decide. The day progressed with little fan fare. I went to a business meeting and met with clients. It was a great day to say the least. I tried really hard not to get absorbed in the grief that still often overwhelms me. Instead, I chose to be at peace. I started the day off with a little prayer for mom, but then again, I say a little prayer for mom almost every day.
At night, I went to a Dharma Yoga class taught by a friend of mine. I didn't have any aspirations for class other than to be there. My body is still recovering from a stomach bug I had on vacation last week. Instead, I made it a point to take my time, not overdo and just have fun. I offered my class to my mom last night. This is something I did many times during the last few months of her life. It was what carried me through her passing and what helped me feel at peace last night, rather than consumed by grief. Offering practice to her memory seemed like the natural thing to do.
Class was amazing and not because I got super sweaty and did a million tricks. Rather, as I moved through class I felt so light and joyful, I absolutely know my mom was there with me. I used to think I was imagining such things, but when I finally learned to let go in to this energy, I knew it was real. It's like a well spring bursts deep within in my heart and I can do nothing more than to be engulfed by the waves of love I feel.
So, this is why I practice yoga, specifically Dharma yoga. There's something in the practice that stirs my soul and allows me to be authentically me. It resonates on every level. In many ways I feel a wholeness not felt in other areas of my life. The practice has taught me make every thing I do an offering and to release any expectations from the fruit of my actions. Sri Dharma's curiosity, humor and ease creates space for this deeper knowledge. I am so grateful to receive these teachings and looking forward to the journey that lies ahead.